What to say?
Well, I'm back from my long excursion to Ohio. The weekend was quite the Tour de Life. I travelled physically and sentimentally from where I began, to where I presently am, to stuff in between, and where I could be--all in one day. Yesterday came with a most superb ending, too. It was a "Totally of God" sort of ending.
Pictures coming.
Today I found myself in another slump emotionally. The best way to describe it is a feeling of lack of purpose and significance. I've got alot of that behind me, and i'm grateful for it, of course, and alot of it is in my future, but honestly the slow motion there is drudgery. I read today the passage in Matthew where Jesus preaches on our fame in Heaven--you know, the part that says that if you 'confess' Christ to others on earth, then He will 'confess' you to God in heaven, and if you are willing to love Christ more than father and mother, only then are you worthy of Him. The last part of that states that unless we carry our cross and follow Him, we are not worthy of Him. What might that cross be? On days like these I tend to feel the burden on my shoulders and the sluggish movement of my feet as they stagger along to keep me moving. This 'cross' of which Christ speaks could be that instrument whereby we serve His purpose for us. Then why does it feel so hard to wear? Evidently it was never supposed to be, since He called it our 'cross.' Carrying it is not so difficult as is carrying it with joy and believing that His strength is made perfect in my weakness. Well, in weakness I am, so that means I am God's servant with great potential. I am encouraged by the words of my good college friend tonight: "I'm confident that he'll surprise u even as He did with the former job! Don't lose hope! Hold on!!"
Another issue on my heart is my sister. She's rather bewildered about what to do with her present relationship with her boyfriend. My parents and I unanimously want her to break up with him. She's been quiet and a recluse all day, obviously bothered by her emotions.
I had a nice dream last night. There were two young girls I got acquainted with, Eliane and Gabriane, and I saved Eliane from drowning after she fell through some ice into a lake. Yes, the names are original to the dream, and they're pretty names, don't you think?
Pictures coming.
Today I found myself in another slump emotionally. The best way to describe it is a feeling of lack of purpose and significance. I've got alot of that behind me, and i'm grateful for it, of course, and alot of it is in my future, but honestly the slow motion there is drudgery. I read today the passage in Matthew where Jesus preaches on our fame in Heaven--you know, the part that says that if you 'confess' Christ to others on earth, then He will 'confess' you to God in heaven, and if you are willing to love Christ more than father and mother, only then are you worthy of Him. The last part of that states that unless we carry our cross and follow Him, we are not worthy of Him. What might that cross be? On days like these I tend to feel the burden on my shoulders and the sluggish movement of my feet as they stagger along to keep me moving. This 'cross' of which Christ speaks could be that instrument whereby we serve His purpose for us. Then why does it feel so hard to wear? Evidently it was never supposed to be, since He called it our 'cross.' Carrying it is not so difficult as is carrying it with joy and believing that His strength is made perfect in my weakness. Well, in weakness I am, so that means I am God's servant with great potential. I am encouraged by the words of my good college friend tonight: "I'm confident that he'll surprise u even as He did with the former job! Don't lose hope! Hold on!!"
Another issue on my heart is my sister. She's rather bewildered about what to do with her present relationship with her boyfriend. My parents and I unanimously want her to break up with him. She's been quiet and a recluse all day, obviously bothered by her emotions.
I had a nice dream last night. There were two young girls I got acquainted with, Eliane and Gabriane, and I saved Eliane from drowning after she fell through some ice into a lake. Yes, the names are original to the dream, and they're pretty names, don't you think?
posted by Radar | 8:15 PM
3 Comments:
Eliane and Gabriane? You're taking dreaming to a new level. Yes, those are pretty names. Pardon my impudence, but I just don't see how a guy's subconscious could come up with them.
Sharon, i guess i don't have the typical guy's subconscious! thanks for your words; they are very flattering.
The thing was, there WASN'T much context. It was just a raw feeling of freedom last night.
It's long gone now; I have more dynamics homework hanging over my head than I care to complete.
Part of it lingers, though... still free. I don't know, it was kind of a revelation without words.
Today's word:
Noqpyr (no`k-py^r): a combination an onomatopoeia and noun, indicating that a person has burned their house to te point that the door is all that remains.
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