This makes up for the void

I bet i have lost readership in the short season i've been in Texas so far. I just have not been writing consistently or at a level that would provoke good thought. But the object is to write for myself and not be concerned with by whom or whether i am read, right? RIGHT? interesting objective to contemplate, that is for sure. In fact, i rethink that objective every time i consider writing. I thought about this Sunday, and Monday and Wednesday. ARe you guys disappointed that i haven't been writing? I'm worried that you are. Number 1, you come to mind now as a person who's maybe regretted looking here night after night and have eventually given up. I can't make any promises that i'll change back to 'normal'. If you pray for me, i will write more. I miss writing alot because this is therapeutic and i would and am giving up sleep to stay up and write because i'd rather express what means alot to me or is weighing me down than to carry the intentions to do so into tomorrow. Everyone lets out their joys and sorrows eventually; it's those who release them in a controlled manner that are different from the rest of the everyones.

Besides that reflection on Sunday, i had another which i did not share with the guys in Randy's bible study. We were discussing Romans 13:8, for one, in depth, particularly the section "Owe no man any thing, but to love one another..." What that means, as i learned from Sunday's insights, is that we can repay every debt we can to our fellow humans except for one: loving each other. We have an infinite debt of love to pay to others because God loves us infinitely. Would it make sense for one beloved creature to not love another creature made by the same God? Indeed not, for we would then be brought to question why God takes the trouble to love us. Moreover, God's love that commands we share is limitless.

You can never love enough. Love itself works within us the same as knowledge--the more you know, the more you are aware of how much you do NOT now. If I love a lot, the more I become aware of what or whom I do not love. We Christians ought never be atrophying in our love for others. If we are--watch out! We must examine ourselves and see whether our proximity from the Source of love is furthering. The root of the matter is what we must attend to before the fruit.

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I've had a really good week. Monday I had a 13-hour workday flying and teaching ground and simulator blocks. I played racqueball with Usen at Solheim and lost all three games, again. I have one win on him over 1.5 years of competition.

Tuesday I tried to get my student pilot Sam Romero to solo, but the weather deteriorated and she forgot her license. But i was able to get the paperwork in order and ready for the next attempt. Tuesday night I went flying at night in the Duchess (our multiengine trainer) alone and practiced night landings, slow flight and steep turns. That was a blast! The occasion was also my first flight alone in the Duchess.

Wednesday was really special. I went riding for 8 miles around the country road
i live on then went to the airport to meet Sam to have another go at soloing. She was doing poorly during the first 1.3 hours of our session because she would never keep the nose pointed at the end of the runway during the flare, so her tendency was to land sideways and skid the wheels til they straighted out themselves. I felt then as if i really came down on her, but she was unfazed and kept trying. If there ever were a time --other than you , Angela--when i felt angry at a student for not listening to me and following instructions, that was it. But when she finally got the impression that i mean what i say and she'd better get it right then she did alright. Her last three landings were wonders to behold. I tell ya, amazing the things students can achieve when they just follow instructions!!

She soloed after sixteen practice landings, and I cheered and took pictures and
hugged her (she wasn't all into the hug thing though) and made that very special line in her logbook that says "First Solo". By the way, she was my first initial-solo student because mine in Alaska--Jared, Angela and Brian-- i endorsed for their solo cross-country only.

Another aspect of Wednesday that made it so special was the date: 3-29. Exactly a year ago, then Tuesday 3-29-05, I took and passed my initial CFI (flight instructor ) checkride. Now my first solo student is soloed exactly a year after that glorious day. Very cool how God works days out like that.

Today, Thursday, was my day to play background piano music for LeTourneau's Career Skills banquet. Few good feelings in life match up to performing the piano well in front of people. It is such a blessing to translate feeling into song for others to hear.
I have a little criticism of my own professional manners tonight. Twice i was acknowledged and applauded for by the announcer and attendees at the banquet, and i just kinda locked my head and body in forward halt and didn't look around or smile and wave to those giving my applause. It wasn't really humility or indifference, but i'm sure that whatever it was it didn't appear as gratitude for THEIR approving applause. So i regret my not participating that extremely rare but jubilant moment.

The person who prayed over the event shared a very interesting but true observation. He noted that in formal settings such as the one this evening where everyone is dressed up and your behavior is expected to be proper, guys feel most awkward in contrast with ladies. I wholeheartedly agree with that too because even as he spoke, i realized how tense i was and how i did not feel at ease within the present context. I never have. But what I do enjoy is being dressed sharp, getting served in decadence and seeing cute girls i know looking absolutely slammin'.

Bedtime!

Samantha Romero ^