Whiteouts and burnouts
Tonight is one of those nights where i just feel like tilting my head back, laying my hands on the keyboard, and typing with eyes closed. And then let all my thoughts just...dump. Today i had sudden clashes with many facets of reality, many good and some just invasive to my sometimes cozy and safe world.
It's another Sunday of no church, nobody and no place familiar, and no rest. I finally got up after a couple promptings from my phone alarm, moped over to the other bed in my room where my Bible is, and started reading where i left off in Job and 1 Corinthians. In the back of my mind, i'm thinking about when i should put in my contacts, because at any minute our customer is going to call in and say when we are or are not flying today. Regardless, i pushed that away for enough time to examine Job 31 and 1 Corinthians 12, and the correlations between the two couldn't be more appropriate or timely.
In this time where finding intimacy with my girlfriend Charisma is happening through sometimes less than satisfactory means, I am challenged to both develop a deeper fondness of her and a deeper understanding of where God is wanting to lead me, to lead us, in this relationship. I am sold on her, from her head to her toes, from her mind to her heart, from her past to her future, from her strengths to her weaknesses.
...
Even throughout this relationship, it's been apparent that there is a battle over God's sacred establishment of the family, and satan wants to cut the roots from underneath any relationship that is showing promise of being a force for building God's kingdom. Divorce- the cancer of our society, an abomination to Heaven - starts here and now. And longevity, commitment and... marriage - is a sweet savor in God's sight, it ameliorates the alone-ness and physical and emotional needs designed in us to be met by our mate - starts now too.
Since doubt takes a person nowhere, and faith is the driving force of a successful life, i'm going to stick with Job's plan and retain my faith in that what God has given, he will surely keep with me.
Then i moved to 1 Corinthians 12, and my eyes caught a glimpse of the commentary on verse 4:
"In this verse, the Greek word fro "gifts" is Charisma, meaning "grace-gifts" or "free gifts." The Spirit,by sovereign grace, gives one or more such "grace-gifts" to "every man" (2 Cor12:7), as He wills (1 Cor 12:11). The same word is used in verses 9, 28, 30 and 31. It is also used in Romans 12:6, which similarly lists a number of gifts of the Spirit...The gift is a "free gift" of the Holy Spirit (like the free gift of eternal life in Romans 6:23, where the same word is used) neither earned nor forced. Furthermore, it is God-given, therefore not man-generated.
As i was reading this, i was thinking, "wow, that's SO what my girlfriend Charisma is to me! A 'free gift, neither earned nor forced...God-given and not man-generated.' "
It's amazing and wonderful to me today, that the very NAME of my girlfriend tells me she's "Given by God! Free! Unearned! "
Who am i to now, or ever, yield to any suggestion that divorce is an option at any stage in our relationship? My Charisma is an extra portion of Life from God, and an inheritance for being a child of God.
----
So, the topics i advertised...
I flew today in SNOW, wouldn't you believe? And i had one of the scariest moments in my life!! We fly very low - 100 to 200' AGL at sometimes 200 MPH, and today on the flight we flew through snow clouds and snow showers. At one point over the most rolling terrain, we flew right into a whiteout, and everything disappeared. We tried to push ourselves to fly as normal, staying in our 60-foot wide corridor and watching the above-ground-level altimeter like normal, but at one point I realized that 'hey, if i make one wrong move here, i'm going to fly us right into the side of a mountain!' but i flew on, making sure that the AGL altimeter never read lower than 100', but i noticed that my course monitor was reading over 180' off course, and i tried to correct to the right just as i saw the leftwards-sloping edge of a hill ahead. Immediately my brain thought "wings are banked right; turn left to level the wings!" but my eyes looked at the attitude indicator, which said i was flying wings level. there's one word for this: disorientation! It takes conscious effort to rely on the attitude indicator, which is the only reliable sign of where i really am and where i should be going. So i trusted that instrument and avoided flying us into a mountain. And i'm really thankful for that!
And concerning burnout...
So, i worked 80 hours last week and moved my life to one city and back during that time. I flew 10 hours on one day, and have worked 15 straight days. I'm meeting several new people every day whose lives i subconsciously comiserate for (i met a Brian, Nelson, Mel, and William in town today), and i have more paperwork to do, plus an airplane that needs constant attention be given it in freezing weather. Mentally i'm getting to a point of fatigue that i would really appreciate a day to recover from.
It's another Sunday of no church, nobody and no place familiar, and no rest. I finally got up after a couple promptings from my phone alarm, moped over to the other bed in my room where my Bible is, and started reading where i left off in Job and 1 Corinthians. In the back of my mind, i'm thinking about when i should put in my contacts, because at any minute our customer is going to call in and say when we are or are not flying today. Regardless, i pushed that away for enough time to examine Job 31 and 1 Corinthians 12, and the correlations between the two couldn't be more appropriate or timely.
In this time where finding intimacy with my girlfriend Charisma is happening through sometimes less than satisfactory means, I am challenged to both develop a deeper fondness of her and a deeper understanding of where God is wanting to lead me, to lead us, in this relationship. I am sold on her, from her head to her toes, from her mind to her heart, from her past to her future, from her strengths to her weaknesses.
...
Even throughout this relationship, it's been apparent that there is a battle over God's sacred establishment of the family, and satan wants to cut the roots from underneath any relationship that is showing promise of being a force for building God's kingdom. Divorce- the cancer of our society, an abomination to Heaven - starts here and now. And longevity, commitment and... marriage - is a sweet savor in God's sight, it ameliorates the alone-ness and physical and emotional needs designed in us to be met by our mate - starts now too.
Since doubt takes a person nowhere, and faith is the driving force of a successful life, i'm going to stick with Job's plan and retain my faith in that what God has given, he will surely keep with me.
Then i moved to 1 Corinthians 12, and my eyes caught a glimpse of the commentary on verse 4:
"In this verse, the Greek word fro "gifts" is Charisma, meaning "grace-gifts" or "free gifts." The Spirit,by sovereign grace, gives one or more such "grace-gifts" to "every man" (2 Cor12:7), as He wills (1 Cor 12:11). The same word is used in verses 9, 28, 30 and 31. It is also used in Romans 12:6, which similarly lists a number of gifts of the Spirit...The gift is a "free gift" of the Holy Spirit (like the free gift of eternal life in Romans 6:23, where the same word is used) neither earned nor forced. Furthermore, it is God-given, therefore not man-generated.
As i was reading this, i was thinking, "wow, that's SO what my girlfriend Charisma is to me! A 'free gift, neither earned nor forced...God-given and not man-generated.' "
It's amazing and wonderful to me today, that the very NAME of my girlfriend tells me she's "Given by God! Free! Unearned! "
Who am i to now, or ever, yield to any suggestion that divorce is an option at any stage in our relationship? My Charisma is an extra portion of Life from God, and an inheritance for being a child of God.
----
So, the topics i advertised...
I flew today in SNOW, wouldn't you believe? And i had one of the scariest moments in my life!! We fly very low - 100 to 200' AGL at sometimes 200 MPH, and today on the flight we flew through snow clouds and snow showers. At one point over the most rolling terrain, we flew right into a whiteout, and everything disappeared. We tried to push ourselves to fly as normal, staying in our 60-foot wide corridor and watching the above-ground-level altimeter like normal, but at one point I realized that 'hey, if i make one wrong move here, i'm going to fly us right into the side of a mountain!' but i flew on, making sure that the AGL altimeter never read lower than 100', but i noticed that my course monitor was reading over 180' off course, and i tried to correct to the right just as i saw the leftwards-sloping edge of a hill ahead. Immediately my brain thought "wings are banked right; turn left to level the wings!" but my eyes looked at the attitude indicator, which said i was flying wings level. there's one word for this: disorientation! It takes conscious effort to rely on the attitude indicator, which is the only reliable sign of where i really am and where i should be going. So i trusted that instrument and avoided flying us into a mountain. And i'm really thankful for that!
And concerning burnout...
So, i worked 80 hours last week and moved my life to one city and back during that time. I flew 10 hours on one day, and have worked 15 straight days. I'm meeting several new people every day whose lives i subconsciously comiserate for (i met a Brian, Nelson, Mel, and William in town today), and i have more paperwork to do, plus an airplane that needs constant attention be given it in freezing weather. Mentally i'm getting to a point of fatigue that i would really appreciate a day to recover from.
posted by Radar | 7:06 PM
1 Comments:
can you mail me a snowball?
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