Thoughts from the deep

Does God weigh minds with instructions that seem, just, bizarre? Does He wake one in the early morning just to say "do thus and thus" and that seems like the most un-God thing that can enter our minds? I'll take another deserting student; i'll take another day of fasting; i'll take gladly another dead battery in my car. But this...why, God? if it is You that sent such an unsettling and discouraging duty in my mind. I can't beleive this would be His idea, at least i so do not want to. God gives us gifts for a reason; "all good things come down from the Father of Lights." Now this proposal in my mind is to push one of those best of gifts away.
He says that He will not take us through trials we can not brave and conquer, and that whatever hardships of mind or situation were only allowed by God to get through the holy heavenly barricades so He could use it to rebound our souls to Him somehow. Hm.
I pouted several times today as i thought about this word that seems so real, yet so unlike the God I know. Is this one of those tests of faith to prove my obedience and His supremacy in my life, as another Abraham to readily thrust the dagger into his beloved son's chest? Or is this in itself a proof-test to see if I beleive God for who He is and discount the wild idea as but a distraction from Him, the ultimate Fact?
God, Thou the eternal Iconoclast,
who melts away my perceptions of You
And i must needs know You better
For i am always late in knowing what You purpose.
May in this time nothing of eternal substance be Lost,
and in the many days, my mistaken perceptions be Few
I have sent to you thought, word and Letter
Now let the intent of Your heart for me arise to the obvious Surface.

--Radar