But it's so hard...

I long to be released from the restraints--
I'm held back, distanced from a home for my heart.
Sometimes i feel certain
Sometimes i feel so lonely
Sometimes i fear that how i'm changing is gonna reshape my heart, desensitize my heart
And i'll get back and not recognize her, not recognize our relationship
Distance and time make a point: where will my affections drift in the end?
Will i be closer to her, more one with her,
or will we have to get to know a different person than the one that left?
I'm somewhat hoping the statement is true, for then i would be bolder, stronger, the leader she needs
and she will be more beautiful, more radiant, and more virtuous.

I hate this distance, this time apart.
it's so hard being away from her this long.
but i know God has a bigger plan in mind,
Even when i feel the winds of change within

Bless us, Lord, Thou who created romance,
Thou our great playwright, compose eloquent passages for us to share,
design scenes beautiful and intense,
build the plot to a dramatic climax,
and jot on the tablet of our hearts only the best affections for each other.

I know that all good things are from You;
I depend on You,
on You these tears fall.
and i grieve when i feel you're not helping me.
Come through for me, Lord, and come through for us.
I know You don't have to be so good to me,
I know You never had to give her into my life,
but she's the best thing to happen to me
and this is the hardest adventure we've been on yet.

Just understand now my aching, and bring resolution to me in the end
It's so hard being away from her,
It's so hard to feel to miss someone this badly
In all the world there's no one i want to be with more.

I'm sorry if i've been frustrated
or let the circumstances dictate my responses.

I know i need to let You stay in charge
I know i need to trust Your ways
I am a sojourner adjusting to a new environment.

Help me to be content
Help me to be faithful
Help me to hold on to hope
Help me to wait here in expectation for the best.
Your words are true and faithful
You imagine big plans for me
You bring me to places that lift me up closer to You
You bring me people who show me more of You

It's so hard...
But it's going to be ok in the end!