Four months of joy

Today marks the completion of four whole months of my and Charisma's dating relationship! We have come through and accomplished so much the last month, and i am even more proud of her and surer of her than ever! God has been so good to me to bring me someone who's all i hoped for and will ever hope for. She's still the best thing to happen to me! This time with her by my side has been irreplaceable. I hope that the days i spend away from her will get added to the end of our lives to make up for lost time. I never tire of her, and i can't get enough of her! If you ask me, this is how romance should be, even if it must span a distance of 3,000 miles.
Thank you, Charisma, for taking the leap with me into this great adventure. I hope it lasts a lifetime!

So, two days ago, i received news that i'm being rotated out of Canada! my month term is over, and now i get to have a break off work until going on my next project. Life is good, and Dynamic is very good to me too. Our travel agent Liz kindly booked me a ticket from Toronto to arrive Sunday in Dallas. Meaning i get to see Charisma that day, and what perfect timing it is!!! Because Sunday is my lovely Charisma's 25th birthday!!! Thank you, Lord!!!

Another praise of today: a card that Charisma had sent on August 28 (before her care package) finally arrived...today! Obviously i'm very happy for that, and i am very proud of the card too! sorry, you can't read the inside also; that's a mystery that stays between us :-)

Thankfulness

Credit goes to Charisma (thank you, dear) for posting this article by Jay Leno on her Blog site (charismaka.blogspot.com) and it struck a chord with me. Being in Canada has ramped up my thankful attitude for the very things that we take for granted in the States. Read it, then i'll explain further:

Jay Leno wrote this:

"The other day I was reading Newsweek magazine and came across some poll data I found rather hard to believe. It must be true given the source, right?

The Newsweek poll alleges that 67 percent of Americans are unhappy with the direction the country is headed and 69 percent of the country is unhappy with the performance of the president. In essence 2/3s of the citizenry just ain't happy and want a change.

So being the knuckle dragger I am, I started thinking, ''What we are so unhappy about?''

Is it that we have electricity and running water 24 hours a day, 7 days a week? Is our unhappiness the result of having air conditioning
in the summer and heating in the winter? Could it be that 95.4 percent of these unhappy folks have a job? Maybe it is the ability to walk into a grocery store at any time and see more food in moments than Darfur has seen in the last year?

Maybe it is the ability to drive from the Pacific Ocean to the Atlantic Ocean without having to present identification papers as we
move through each state? Or possibly the hundreds of clean and safe motels we would find along the way that can provide temporary shelter?

I guess having thousands of restaurants with varying cuisine from around the world is just not good enough. Or could it be that when we wreck our car, emergency workers show up and provide services to help all and even send a helicopter to take you to the hospital.

Perhaps you are one of the 70 percent of Americans who own a home. You may be upset with knowing that in the unfortunate case of a fire, a group of trained firefighters will appear in moments and use top notch equipment to extinguish the flames thus saving you, your family and your belongings.

Or if, while at home watching one of your many flat screen TVs, a burglar or prowler intrudes, an officer equipped with a gun and a
bullet-proof vest will come to defend you and your family against attack or loss. This all in the backdrop of a neighborhood free of
bombs or militias raping and pillaging the residents. Neighborhoods where 90 percent of teenagers own cell phones and computers.

How about the complete religious, social and political freedoms we enjoy that are the envy of everyone in the world?
Maybe that is what has 67 percent of you folks unhappy.

Fact is, we are the largest group of ungrateful, spoiled brats the world has ever seen. No wonder the world loves the U.S. yet has a
great disdain for its citizens. They see us for what we are. The most blessed people in the world who do nothing but complain about what we don't have, and what we hate about the country instead of thanking the good Lord we live here.

I know, I know. What about the president who took us into war and has no plan to get us out? The president who has a measly 31 percent approval rating? Is this the same president who guided the nation in the dark days after 9/11? The president that cut taxes to bring an economy out of recession? Could this be the same guy who has been called every name in the book for succeeding in keeping all the spoiled ungrateful brats safe from terrorist attacks?

The commander in chief of an all-volunteer army that is out there defending you and me? Did you hear how bad the President is on the news or talk show? Did this news affect you so much, make you so unhappy you couldn't take a look around for yourself and see all the good things and be glad?

Think about it......are you upset at the President because he actually caused you personal pain OR is it because the "Media" told you he was failing to kiss your sorry ungrateful behind every day.

Make no mistake about it. The troops in Iraq and Afghanistan have volunteered to serve, and in many cases may have died for your
freedom. There is currently no draft in this country. They didn't have to go. They are able to refuse to go and end up with either a ''general'' discharge, an ''other than honorable'' discharge or, worst case scenario, a ''dishonorable'' discharge after a few days in the brig.

So why then the flat-out discontentment in the minds of 69 percent of Americans? Say what you want but I blame it on the media. If it bleeds it leads and they specialize in bad news. Everybody will watch a car crash with blood and guts. How many will watch kids selling lemonade at the corner? The media knows this and media outlets are for-profit corporations. They offer what sells , and when criticized, try to defend their actions by "justifying" them in one way or another. Just ask why they tried to allow a murderer like O.J. Simpson to write a book about how he didn't kill his wife, but if he did he would have done it this way......INSANE!!!!

Stop buying the negativism you are fed everyday by the media Shut off the TV, burn Newsweek, and use the New York Times for the bottom of your bird cage. Then start being grateful for all we have as a country. There is exponentially more good than bad.

We are among the most blessed people on Earth and should thank God several times a day, or at least be thankful and appreciative."

"With hurricanes, tornados, fires out of control, mud slides, flooding, severe thunderstorms tearing up the country from one end to
another, and with the threat of bird flu and terrorist attacks, "Are we sure this is a good time to take God out of the Pledge of Allegiance?"

Jay Leno


This article resonates powerfully with me while i'm in a place with not so much blessedness, leadership, resourcefulness, or beauty. i want to come back to the states a much more grateful person; i want for praise to be at the forefront of my mind, because i could have been born into so many other places. i could have looked at this article as an Inuit here in Nunavut and i'd comment to myself.."if i were an American, i'd be the most thankful one there ever were!'
We really have so much to be thankful for. Here's a sample for me:

I'm thankful for real trees to admire, climb, shade me, and block the wind!

I'm thankful for fields of green grass, corn and lush forests

I'm thankful for regular food that i can buy for cheap, unlike this $10 box of cereal

I'm thankful for getting to warm my food the REAL way

I'm thankful for paved roads everywhere in sight.
again, i'm thankful for a place to prepare food the appropriate way.
I'm thankful that i am usually only a day-not a dream- away from seeing my favorite person in the world.
I'm thankful for underground sewage and water supply.
I'm thankful that i can get a package anywhere in the US in a matter of days and not have to pay a lot for it.

--I'm thankful for cell phone service everywhere
--I'm thankful for internet anywhere
--I'm thankful for being able to walk into a grocery store or restaurant that is completely stocked
--I"m thankful for bike paths, people who care about their health, gymnasiums, basketball arenas, my own clean home to go to.
--I'm thankful that i can walk almost anywhere and see a friend.
--I'm thankful for unlimited possibilities for fun and adventure!!!
--I am really thankful for God's blessings to us. we really don't know what we have until it's been removed from us.

Flight school in Canadia

Daniel Grollimund (the Wise) once said that "we can relate so much of life to piloting an airplane because a pilot has to have a very firm grasp on reality."

My work up here in Canada involves flying straight and narrow lines along the ground for miles and miles while flying 100-200' above the ground. it's a challenge keeping the plane in that position and within a 60' wide corridor in winds, up and down big hills, and for extended amounts of time. I've taken in a lot of basic skills and techniques that are required in order to do my job well, and i cannot but see also how these simple principles can apply to my life too.

So here's some flight lessons i've learned throughout my flying experiences up here in Nunavut. I am particularly interested in how these observations of flying an airplane relate so closely to life as I see it.


Lessons on living and flying the line

-To stay on takes constant, but not undivided attention

-Getting started is stressful, and full of slip-ups.

-Only after a lot of practice does staying on course become second-nature

-Even after it becomes second-nature, you slip up every now and then without the intention to, either because a moment of negligence or because you misinterpret what side of 'perfect' you are.

-It's important to jump right back on without dwelling on the slip-up and to reassure and re-grace yourself afterward

-Learn how going over mountains is going to affect your course.

-Learn to look ahead to remind yourself of where you're going after passing over the mountains.

-Learn that the flats are just as easy to fall off-course on because it's the place of boredom and layed-back attitude.

-Going a long time without making big mistakes just takes a lot of patient endurance

-When you slip off-line, gracefully and patiently and forgivingly get back on - then forget about it, lest it is a snare to your concentration for the course ahead.

-Give your efforts to God, draw your strength from Him, and let Him be the judge of your efforts and results, not man.

-After cresting a mountain, relax and give yourself lots of 'nose-down' time to recover energy.

-When fog and rain cover you and you can't see and get disoriented, fly up to the safe arms of higher skies.

-Repetition and patient endurance with doing it right are disciplines, but they yield encouraging, constant improvement.

-Once achieving a new point of fluency, that is an accomplishment to be proud of!

A Psalm

Great is the Lord, and all praise be given to Him.
Holy and awesome is he within the tabernacle of my heart!
He divides me from my sorrows.
He deflects from me perils and strifes.

All the day I praise Him for his marvelous works!
Through praise come the best of my creature comforts
Trouble and anguish lurk in wait for my praises to end.
But when my mind breathes praise, there is clarity and beauty.

He solaces me when I sacrifice my worries in exchange for praise.
When i am overwhelmed, His deliverance is a thankful word away.
I expect for myself to feel only a grateful and content heart.
Incomparable is He: praise His name!

His name means peace: I praise Him for comfort
His name means Provider: I praise Him for blessings
His name means Savior: I praise him for redemption
His name means Healer: I praise Him for wholeness and protection
His name means King: I praise Him for His sovereignty

To none else I give such high praise - I am wired bless His name!
There is no fear to those who praise Him.
Surely the dross of life and heart will fall away when i praise.
Great nearness I feel to Him when i praise Him.

Known and beloved am I among others who praise the Name of the Lord
The weak shall be strengthened, the crooked made straight, in praise.
Sure and fulfilling rest He gives to those who praise Him.
Right thoughts have I when I rejoice in the works of the Lord

I am near unto them whose hearts are grateful unto God.
Steady and strong are they who praise the Lord.
Praise Him for all things!

But it's so hard...

I long to be released from the restraints--
I'm held back, distanced from a home for my heart.
Sometimes i feel certain
Sometimes i feel so lonely
Sometimes i fear that how i'm changing is gonna reshape my heart, desensitize my heart
And i'll get back and not recognize her, not recognize our relationship
Distance and time make a point: where will my affections drift in the end?
Will i be closer to her, more one with her,
or will we have to get to know a different person than the one that left?
I'm somewhat hoping the statement is true, for then i would be bolder, stronger, the leader she needs
and she will be more beautiful, more radiant, and more virtuous.

I hate this distance, this time apart.
it's so hard being away from her this long.
but i know God has a bigger plan in mind,
Even when i feel the winds of change within

Bless us, Lord, Thou who created romance,
Thou our great playwright, compose eloquent passages for us to share,
design scenes beautiful and intense,
build the plot to a dramatic climax,
and jot on the tablet of our hearts only the best affections for each other.

I know that all good things are from You;
I depend on You,
on You these tears fall.
and i grieve when i feel you're not helping me.
Come through for me, Lord, and come through for us.
I know You don't have to be so good to me,
I know You never had to give her into my life,
but she's the best thing to happen to me
and this is the hardest adventure we've been on yet.

Just understand now my aching, and bring resolution to me in the end
It's so hard being away from her,
It's so hard to feel to miss someone this badly
In all the world there's no one i want to be with more.

I'm sorry if i've been frustrated
or let the circumstances dictate my responses.

I know i need to let You stay in charge
I know i need to trust Your ways
I am a sojourner adjusting to a new environment.

Help me to be content
Help me to be faithful
Help me to hold on to hope
Help me to wait here in expectation for the best.
Your words are true and faithful
You imagine big plans for me
You bring me to places that lift me up closer to You
You bring me people who show me more of You

It's so hard...
But it's going to be ok in the end!

Whiteouts and burnouts

Tonight is one of those nights where i just feel like tilting my head back, laying my hands on the keyboard, and typing with eyes closed. And then let all my thoughts just...dump. Today i had sudden clashes with many facets of reality, many good and some just invasive to my sometimes cozy and safe world.

It's another Sunday of no church, nobody and no place familiar, and no rest. I finally got up after a couple promptings from my phone alarm, moped over to the other bed in my room where my Bible is, and started reading where i left off in Job and 1 Corinthians. In the back of my mind, i'm thinking about when i should put in my contacts, because at any minute our customer is going to call in and say when we are or are not flying today. Regardless, i pushed that away for enough time to examine Job 31 and 1 Corinthians 12, and the correlations between the two couldn't be more appropriate or timely.
In this time where finding intimacy with my girlfriend Charisma is happening through sometimes less than satisfactory means, I am challenged to both develop a deeper fondness of her and a deeper understanding of where God is wanting to lead me, to lead us, in this relationship. I am sold on her, from her head to her toes, from her mind to her heart, from her past to her future, from her strengths to her weaknesses.
...
Even throughout this relationship, it's been apparent that there is a battle over God's sacred establishment of the family, and satan wants to cut the roots from underneath any relationship that is showing promise of being a force for building God's kingdom. Divorce- the cancer of our society, an abomination to Heaven - starts here and now. And longevity, commitment and... marriage - is a sweet savor in God's sight, it ameliorates the alone-ness and physical and emotional needs designed in us to be met by our mate - starts now too.
Since doubt takes a person nowhere, and faith is the driving force of a successful life, i'm going to stick with Job's plan and retain my faith in that what God has given, he will surely keep with me.

Then i moved to 1 Corinthians 12, and my eyes caught a glimpse of the commentary on verse 4:
"In this verse, the Greek word fro "gifts" is Charisma, meaning "grace-gifts" or "free gifts." The Spirit,by sovereign grace, gives one or more such "grace-gifts" to "every man" (2 Cor12:7), as He wills (1 Cor 12:11). The same word is used in verses 9, 28, 30 and 31. It is also used in Romans 12:6, which similarly lists a number of gifts of the Spirit...The gift is a "free gift" of the Holy Spirit (like the free gift of eternal life in Romans 6:23, where the same word is used) neither earned nor forced. Furthermore, it is God-given, therefore not man-generated.

As i was reading this, i was thinking, "wow, that's SO what my girlfriend Charisma is to me! A 'free gift, neither earned nor forced...God-given and not man-generated.' "

It's amazing and wonderful to me today, that the very NAME of my girlfriend tells me she's "Given by God! Free! Unearned! "

Who am i to now, or ever, yield to any suggestion that divorce is an option at any stage in our relationship? My Charisma is an extra portion of Life from God, and an inheritance for being a child of God.

----

So, the topics i advertised...
I flew today in SNOW, wouldn't you believe? And i had one of the scariest moments in my life!! We fly very low - 100 to 200' AGL at sometimes 200 MPH, and today on the flight we flew through snow clouds and snow showers. At one point over the most rolling terrain, we flew right into a whiteout, and everything disappeared. We tried to push ourselves to fly as normal, staying in our 60-foot wide corridor and watching the above-ground-level altimeter like normal, but at one point I realized that 'hey, if i make one wrong move here, i'm going to fly us right into the side of a mountain!' but i flew on, making sure that the AGL altimeter never read lower than 100', but i noticed that my course monitor was reading over 180' off course, and i tried to correct to the right just as i saw the leftwards-sloping edge of a hill ahead. Immediately my brain thought "wings are banked right; turn left to level the wings!" but my eyes looked at the attitude indicator, which said i was flying wings level. there's one word for this: disorientation! It takes conscious effort to rely on the attitude indicator, which is the only reliable sign of where i really am and where i should be going. So i trusted that instrument and avoided flying us into a mountain. And i'm really thankful for that!

And concerning burnout...
So, i worked 80 hours last week and moved my life to one city and back during that time. I flew 10 hours on one day, and have worked 15 straight days. I'm meeting several new people every day whose lives i subconsciously comiserate for (i met a Brian, Nelson, Mel, and William in town today), and i have more paperwork to do, plus an airplane that needs constant attention be given it in freezing weather. Mentally i'm getting to a point of fatigue that i would really appreciate a day to recover from.

To Yellowknife and back

As Dwight knocks on my door at 9AM, i lunge myself out of bed, walk to the door, and slowly my vision tunnels and dims as my tired body tries pumping blood into my eyes for another day. I have one of those 'is this it, the day my fears meet me and i go blind for some terrible reason?' moments before the world comes alive again in vivid color and clarity.
Thus is a sign to me that my body is getting weaker and weaker by the day and needs some semblance of a day off. But not today -- i don't want to take today off because we have goals to reach today. Mind you, we've already went above and beyond the goals of a typical work week. But i don't feel in the 'toil to earn the beans' mode anymore. What we have here is a mission on our hands, and we're out to complete it, no matter how much sleep we must sacrifice or personal life we surrender. The weekend began with a 7:00 AM flight out to Yellowknife, N.W.T. in KingAir 41J, where we hangared the plane and began its required Phase 2 inspection. We spent from Saturday morning til Thursday morning completing the inspection.
In a nutshell, i've had a KingAir maintenance crash-course the last six days, spending at least 10 hours on and around the plane, opening up cowls and panels and removing filters and filing propellers, taking apart components for the first time, and asking "what's this?" more times than i can count. Fortunately another experienced mechanic, Jason, was flown up from Virginia to help us, and he was more than kind to do all he could for us and help us understand what we're supposed to do.
I know i became 'at home' with our KingAir during this time when i started to have the familiar Love-Hate feelings toward the machine. When i start talking to the airplane, scolding it for being so difficult to fix, and thanking the airplane for 'allowing' me to fix it without hassle, is when i know the intimidation has fallen loose and a real relationship is forming. The final major day of the inspection, Wednesday, was really stressful at the end because there became lots of loose ends made apparent that i didn't feel i had time or understanding to deal with. Fortunately i was allowed to defer these issues for another time because of their minor priority.

I wish we could have spent more time in Yellowknife. If you ever want to go to north Canada for vacation, Yellowknife is the place to go. It's beautiful, affordable, up-t0-date, the people are lovely, and the town altogether is a good thing that comes in a small package. There's a all-city hiking/biking trail, restaurants to suit anyone's fancy, a small mall, movie stores and a theater, American franchises, and lots of places to get away or have an adventure. I wish i could have had an entire day or two just to roam and enjoy. But alas, about all I got to enjoy was a superb breakfast restaurant called Tim Horton's, a trip to Wal-Mart, one night out for dinner at Boston Pizza, and a surprise time away with God on some lovely rock formations facing the Sunday sunset.

We flew away on Thursday morning back to Baker Lake, grieved that we had to say goodbye to one of the world's finer places. It was an entirely healthy time physically, emotionally and spiritually,and Charisma and I took some more steps of growth in our relationship there too.

I left with a sense of 'owning' the airplane after having spent so much time on it. I like being able to gaze on and operate an airplane that i know the inner workings of; it gives me greater confidence and control in my relationship with it.

This is the last workday of this week, and so far my work hours total to 71.25. This could turn into a 80- hour week!

I flew 10 hours yesterday, too. Talk about being busy!

pictures later.. prayers appreciated!