Pure moodiness

Days like this should go without telling. But i'm gonna tell it anyway. Got up 'later', as in 6:15 because the weather was bad, and no flying could get done. Spent my quiet time talking to God and listening to His commentary to me on Luke 10:42. It's good to know that the first thing i do in the morning is, in our Father's eyes, "the good part" of the day. Got off on a great start. Determined to sieze the day, and be as productive as possible so i can linger calmly near my bed as i wind down from the busyness and trials, as an exemplary friend does. Finished my little booklet i made containing directions for the three pipeline routes, cleaned and organized the garage, labeled the eighteen (you betcha-eighteen!) light switches one can see from the living room; put air in my tires to make 'em perfect; fixed the splashguard on the front left wheel well; cleaned the kitchen, folded laundry, organized dad's desk, helped Rosanna print out homework, and make an important phone call. Of that person i inquired of moods that he/she might float in and out of each day. To which he/she replied, that happens only over a week. To which i now reply and conclude that I must be somewhat lacking in the stability department. Hence the water falling down mostly deserted channels.
No matter how i am as a unique human being, i will bear in my heart that "The Lord is my shepherd...surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life, and i will dwell in the house of the Lord forever."
I'm greatly challenged by Warren's book. read of the importance of knowing one's intrinsic value and living with authenticity. very important qualities to bring into a relationship.
i read parts of this book to which i smile "that's me! I'm ready!" then others to which i pause in near despair; "when am i ever gonna reach that ideal?" Dear me. more moodiness.

How Magical

At the end of each day i get to spend with the Howertons, i come back home feeling wrapped up by something very...magical. I possess such exuberance and joy because i am touched by legions of blessing that I don't deserve. God always ministers to me in an extraordinary way on the day i'm with them. Today (minus one very special detail), Mrs. Howerton had me/us for lunch, and then Rachel planned a game for us to play in the afternoon, and somehow arrangements were made for the Campbells (old high school teachers of mine and friends of the Howertons) to come over after church and watch War of the Worlds. I get to stay awhile more than what i plan, and in the end am more blessed and encouraged than almost i can contain. And what else unique happened today? Well, the Chicago Bears won their 7th straight because of their shutdown defense and because the kicker on Tampa Bay missed a 29-yard field goal; my early flight on Monday was postponed b/c of bad weather (meaning i get to catch up on studying for the next flight; the fuel pump at Casey's stopped on its own at $23.00 exactly (what are the odds of that?!); and when i got back home, my dad, instead of scolding me for getting home late, as i expected, asked me if i need money (i'm actually OK in that area for now). Now i'm listening to Rascal Flatts and am full of words about somebody.
I have just a few praises for the sweet person i got to meet today. More than just a few come to mind of course, but i don't want to go overboard. This person is so disciplined spiritually, socially, physically, yet is so humble about such a nobly mature lifestyle. I look at those habits and am convicted; i want to be like that. I'm not doing any good keeping myself up at 11 tonight writing this, but the reflections from today are a gift i need to put to use now before they fade and vanish. Wow, i could say so much more, but i won't because I want to say just enough to be encouraging and affirming if she does happen to read this.
Another detail of today that was very special to me was my devotions before i went out riding. It was a "please just place my eyes on what You want me to read, Lord" day. So i flipped through the Gospels to some Book and chapter. Forgive me, i actually forgot the book and the chapter when i tried to look for it again in church! I did memorize three verses from it, though, all which i took with me, and still recall, as my day's spiritual food: "Take heed, and beware of covetousness, for the life of man consisteth of more than the abundance of things which he possesseth." "Be not of a doubtful mind." "Where your treasure is, there will your heart be also."
I'm up toooo late. i need to write faster and think less.

Post-Thanksgiving notes

I'm back home after thanksgiving break, not really enthused or proud or sad about anything. I've been rehearsing an important moment coming my way tomorrow, and i ought to be more excited about it. But God grabbed me last night for an hour and a half and spoke clearly into my heart about some issues, including that of tomorrow. Other highlights of the break is my very sore thighs following a game of tackle football; two visits to the hot tub; eating a lot of food; learning a new card game; reading The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe; seeing what cool stuff my family is up to; talking to some very important people; getting an important email; and playing the piano for a grateful audience.
I'm off the phone now. And now smiling.
Lord, You're working on my covetous heart. Squeeze it out of Thy servant. Keep encouraging me in my disposition because You're designing it to affect others with Your love. You're right; with Your influence within me, I am the best man to deal with my opportunities and situations I'm in, and I am above wishing for a another past. This holiday of thanksgiving gave me more to be grateful for than just the past year. In the past, present and future, Your gifts are abundant and sufficient for me.

The profound or the preposterous 1

life is like walking in the rain...as you move along, you may not get all the drops fall on you that you want, so you just have to accept whatever ones do come your way.

being a Christian is like marriage... God chose us and brought us into unity with Himself because he knew we would be perfect for each other...He'll make sure the same formula is true between one and another of His children. Perfect and perfect don't equal ideal, but two who need and complement each other do.

I am up so late but...

I have pictures to post!


-Chicago from 1,000', 5 miles southeast of Midway airport
-Me and the little Diamond Star



And now i go to bed
leaving many words unsaid
now they're just as good as dead.

Life quiz

Carrie Harrell had the brilliant idea of posting one of those silly e-quizzes we all got when back in high school. i thought it was so brilliant that i decided to steal this from her and fill it out myself. enjoy!


1. Full name: Jonathan Michael Tack
2. Nick Names: Chirp, Jon, Jonny Boy, Mister Tack, Tack, Tackman, Buddy, Darling, Dear
3. Birthday: December 2, 1982
4. Place of birth: Springfield, Ohio (Go Buckeyes!)

__Your...?__

13. Hair Length: Short. Does anyone notice we just skipped 7 questions?
14. Eye color: Green
15. Best Feature: Hm. That's between my hands (music-makers) and legs (pedal-pushers) and eyes
16. Height: 5' 5”-ish
17. Braces? Yes, and yes
18. Glasses? yes
19. Piercing: none.
20. Tattoos: No
21. Rightly or Lefty: Rightly? Righty.


___Your 'Firsts'___

22. First best friend: Erica Clausen.
23. Award: teacher's awards, diligence awards, scholarship, Who's Who, American English Society
24. First Sport You Joined: Baseballl.
26. First Real Vacation:California when i was about 4. don't remember it
27. First Concert: Gospel Bill, late eighties
28. First true Love: first person i admit to have loved? proud of it, but i shouldn't answer


___ Favorites___

29. Movie: Remember The Titans, Rigoletto,
30. TV Show: Everybody Loves Raymond, Who's Line, Star Trek Voyager, Star Trek TNG, Stargate, Modern Marvels
31. Color: Sky blue
32. Rocker: ?
33. Band: Jars of Clay, Rascal Flatts
34. Song: "For the Glory of Your Name" by Michelle Tumes.
35. Friend: Jesus, Brandon, Jesse, Michael, Angela, Brian.
36. Candy: Reese's PB cups
37. Sport to Play: Cycling
38. Restaurant: Red Lobster
39. Favorite brand to wear: ?I'm not picky, but I like Nautica, Aeropostale and Nike
40. Store: Sporting goods and Best Buy.
41. Favorite subject: Aviation, music,
42. Animal: Penguin.
42b. (I'm making this one up, because I'm assuming this is what someone probably meant when they said, "Animal.") ---
Pet: Cat: adorable, quiet and clean .
43. Book: The Bible and those written by C.S. Lewis (Perelandra, The Great Divorce, etc.
44. Magazine: Bicycling and AOPA Pilot
45. Shoes: My Adidas running shoes i bought in Alaska


___ Right Now___

46. Feeling Right Now?: excitement to talk to somebody, and fatigue from the little sleep preceding today's flying.
47. Single or Taken?: Single with hope not to be someday.Skipping 48.
48. Have a crush:
49. Eating: Nothing. feeling satisfied after mom's delicious dinner
51. Typing: THESE WORDS.
52. Online: DUH!
53. Listening To: The droning hum of my computer, and the clickety-click sound made as I type on the keyboard (coped from Carrie).
54. Thinking About: Calling someone, printing flyers and biz cards, sleep, tomorrow, my next blog entry. yes, i can think of many different things simultaneously. .
55. Wanting To: meet someone special
56. Watching: The mysterious letters turn up on my computer screen merely with the touch of a few buttons. Isn’t this fascinating to anyone else? (copied from Carrie)
57. Wearing: my Old Navy Board Shorts that i use for pajamas, and my collared shirt i wore all day.


__________Future__________

58. Want Kids?: Yes siree.
59. Want to be Married? Do I ever! :ahem: Um, if it should be the Lord’s will, yes, very much.
60. Careers in Mind: The best husband my wife could dream of, corporate pilot
61. Where do you want to live? Bloomington, Illinois or somewhere close, or Virginia if i can take with me someone special.
62. Car: Toyota Celica


__Which is Preferred On The Opposite Sex?___

63. Hair color: indifferent
64. Hair length: to neck at least
65. Eye color: green
66. Measurements: well-formed
67. Cute or Sexy: Innocent and cute.
68. Lips or Eyes: eyes
69. Hugs or Kisses: Both.
70. Short or Tall:
71. Easygoing or serious: A combination.
72. Romantic or Spontaneous: Spontaneous.
74. Sensitive or Loud: Speaking when necessary and with purpose and with a sensitive heart.
75. Hook-up or Relationship:
76. Sweet or Caring: What? Both, of course.
77. Trouble Maker or Hesitant One: Hesitant to stir up trouble, unless it’s for the sake of God’s name.


___Have you ever____

78. Kissed a Stranger: Uh, no.
79. Had Alcohol: Can’t lie. Yes. But not much. Specifically, white/red wine and a sip of beer
80. Smoked: :gags: No. never touched a lit cigarette
81. Ran Away From Home: no.
82. Broken a bone: big toe.
83. Got an X-ray: for big toe, mouth and back after the airplane accident.
85. Broken Someone’s Heart: I hear i have. my sister told me of whom. it was flattering. 84's gone too.
86. Broken Up With Someone: she broke up with me. in 9th grade. yeah, they're all after me!
87. Cried When Someone Died: yes
88. Cried At School: Yes. And in an airplane. And in the bathroom at the airport. And in Dwayne's truck. And while washing dishes. i cry in wierd places.


___Do You Believe In___

89. God: I can’t help it.
90. Miracles: Life is a miracle. Many have saved my life.
91. Love At First sight: no.
92. Ghosts:
93. Aliens: "Earth is God's footstool."
94. Soul Mates: And Kindred Spirits.
95. Heaven: Yes.
96. Hell: Yes.
97. Angels: I’ve found one on earth.
98. Kissing on The First Date: No.
99. Horoscopes: No.

___Answer Truthfully___ O... kay...

100. Is There Someone You Want But You Know You Can't have? God will bring me not necessarily who I want for me but who He wants for me. All good things are given me from Above.

Quotes and thoughts from today

"Oh well, what's a day without a little tragedy?" -Scott, guy i mow/rake for

Under the shadow of social despair, one's more faithful friends appear to be those of which one has the lowest expectations. - Me

Back with the flow

Vagueness is never interesting, I know. I've reached my time to click out of that mode and write meaningfully. Thanks, Bungee, for confirming Ohio State's win. I actually didn't watch the game because I got to rake leaves all afternooon. Money is better than watching a game, of course, so I've no regrets for not seeing the game.
My agenda for the future: spending my days trying to do what's right. That's about the only insight i have to share tonight.

Picture 1: A favorite group pic from Alaska in September
Pic 2: floating in the sunset-painted Dead Sea in March.

Friday notes part 2

For my own benefit, i need to record the following (vague) notes:
I must rebuke myself for some point i made in the last post. I overlooked the gift of the moment, the beauty of situation and the sparks of inspiration belonging to just this moment that God allows to occur in the mind. I was reminded in a fresh way how our personal time with Him translates to touch and edify a special time and person. I was reminded that God is faithful to answer my prayer to have the tongue of the learned and to speak a word in season to him that is weary.
I got the chance, and I think i did.
Lest i forget in the trials of the days what was discussed this evening, let this be as a refresher.
In the wake of a strong emotional change, one must refrain from trying to fix it and pray for that person. "The Lord is the strength of my life" "I looked upon Him and I am helped; therefore my heart greatly rejoices, and with my mouth will I praise him." "The Lord is near to those with a broken heart, and saves those who are of a contrite spirit." Be Thou near, Lord
We made our purpose clear to each other. No rushing, no expectations, no selfishness among us. Intentionally seeking God's will and way. Communication is the key. Let's keep getting to know who and how each other really is.
Cling to this truth, that if God's will and way be made our will and way, and we won't be wrong when we realize the outcome of what happened last Wednesday night.
That God will give you the right one, i pray.

Readers, I'm sorry to have to be vague for this third time, so forgive me. Such writing will be for only a season, i promise.

GO BUCKEYES!

Friday notes

If i could fast-forward time to the year 2007, I know i would be missing out on alot. At the same instance, however, i would be skipping out on alot of hassles. By then, i will have memorized Beethoven's fifth (first movement if you care to be particular) on the piano, memorized the pipeline, acquired flight students and moved near Peru, and had my orthodontics semi-dealt with. Yep, i had another ortho appointment today, and it was in the morning so that means automatic sour mood for Jonathan. One of my significant fears is that i will pass these genes along to the next generation and hence bring a repeat of me into the world. On the other perspective, God does work everything together for the good for them who love God (thank you to you who reminded me of this verse this week). And no matter what we look like or what we can or cannot do, as long as it is God's will, all is very good.
Romans says that the One who subjected creation to vanity (corruption; entropy, scientifically known as 2nd law of thermodynamics) did it with a reason and is the same One who gave it hope. Remember the blind man in John 9. Jesus said that he was made blind for the works of God to be revealed. So, i know this sounds cliche but it is true, that the value of one's life is not in the quality of earthsuit he's wearing but in the glory of God revealed through him. And if we are willing to be a vessel, God will really take charge and show us the amazing things the Creator can do through mortal man.
Well, i didn't intend to dart off in that tangent...back to the original thoughts...
So after the ortho, I went to the tennis court and pitched baseballs at the practice wall for 45 minutes. I'm enjoying doing that a few times a week. All together, i practiced Beethoven and wedding songs for three hours today. I am becoming passionaly engrossed in the wedding songs i'm learning. I practiced this afternoon until my shoulders were too sore to move.
And yes, Christina, i plan to play at your wedding!
---
Since October, I've been reading an excellent book on dating. Today's chapters were about The Breakup and Courtship as an alternative to dating. In the few paragraphs the book spends on courtship, it really sheds a positive light on the concept. Courtship seems like the way for maturer people to go because the arrangement sets a couple on the mission of answering The Question: are we a match for the rest of our lives? It offers freedom and security, and guarding for the heart. If i get the chance in my lifetime to share romantic interests with a girl, i would incline us to the courtship ideal.
------=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
The vague part.
I find my emotions and logic self-defeating. Why beat away at my hope so to alleviate disappointment if the hope doesn't come to pass? Why not enjoy the prospect for now, as if it were a someone else's story that i were happy for, and just deal with the moment that dissolves the hope? Am i enough. am i contradicting myself. am i moving too fast. am i pressuring too much. am i loving enough. what im not doing is enjoying the story.

Peace, be still.

What happened last night?

I don't know exactly. But i know where i was, and I remember how I felt.
I am about to do you, cherished readers, a disservice. I choose to be vague, dare i say allegorical, in this post. But it's for the best, I promise you.
I was in a hotel lobby in Cameron, Missouri. And I felt as if I had just awakened from a dream. Or maybe the feeling was one that had been awakened after a very long slumber. I felt interesting. Desirable. My heart responded with rushing waves of hope.
I felt i were looking back on a broken road. And i put on last night's new glasses and saw a straight road in its place.
The pipeline traces a serpentine course beyond my understanding. But I follow it to its end. Each turn had a purpose: to guide to the next turn. Last night, I felt the my path's turns were behind me. I felt I had followed it to the end for which God guided me. It was a sweet hope.
I felt hope. I feel hope. I pray for its fulfillment. Thank you for this incredible facet of being alive. I pray for Your will, O Lord.
-----
UNVAGUE PART:
So Wednesday and today, i went up with Tim to patrol the west pipelines for the second time. As a reminder, the west trip takes us through Kansas City MO, Wichita KS, Lincoln NE, and Des Moines IA. We took off and flew through a blizzard (!!) for 20 minutes and picked up some actual IFR time in the whiteout. We spent the night in Cameron, Missouri and watched Marvels of Engineering on the Discovery channel for 2 hours. (one detail omitted here). By 7 AM, we were in the air again over the snow-capped earth and I struggled to keep an eye on the pipeline because the markers are WHITE and were camoflauged in the snow. I had three very good landings today; as you read, landing this plane is like landing an oversize pancake.
----
pics: me and the Diamond Star yesterday.
right: me in the SuperCub in Alaska

Way to go, guys!

Congratulations to RASCAL FLATTS who won the CMA Award for Best Vocal Group of the year!! And also for their nomination for Best Song of the Year (Bless the Broken Road)!

Our moon

I'm blessed to have another post to add tonight. Just when i supposed i had been drained of inspiration the previous two days, i have come across another one. Thanks, Isaac Newton.
PBS televised a Nova presentation on the "Hidden secrets of Isaac Newton" that i found as i coasted through the channels tonight. The part in particular that inspired me was their look at Newton's Law of Gravitation. He wrote out the thought experiment he conducted as he pondered this unseen enigma. He imagined a cannon on a very, very high mountain- A mountian like 100 miles tall. Without the influence of gravity, said cannon would fire a cannonball that would keep on going in a straight line in accordance with the First Law of Motion. With the assumption of gravitational force, however, the cannonball will behave differently. Imagine the cannonball just being dropped out of the nozzle. Due to gravity, it's going to drop straight down for those 400 miles. Now picture the cannonball launched with enough force to thrust it 4000 miles horizontally around the earth's sphere before it reached the end of its parabola and hit the ground. Finally, fathom blasting the cannonball at just the right speed that it did a full circle around the earth with gravity barely affecting a loss in altitude. The cannonball's inertia and earth's gravity are in a balancing act; the cannonball is in orbit. Guess what else is in orbit? The moon around the earth, and similarly the earth around the sun. Consider how specific the speed must be at which the cannonball enters orbit to stay there. Likewise, consider how specific the distance and speed other orbiting bodies like the earth and moon must be to stay in stable orbit themselves!
The current evolutionary theory for the moon is that an meteor slammed into the earth and broke off a fragment of the earth, which got caught in orbit and became the moon. Well, i have a question: how did the prehistoric moon obtain its horizontal inertia to keep it from being sucked back into the earth again?
The Word of God says that He created the earth on the first day and the sun and moon on the fourth day. God is omniscient, so it would follow that He knew the what had to be the speed and altitude of the earth about the sun and the moon about the earth.
I beleive that God created all that exists and that since the creation of the world His invisible attributes, His eternal power and divine nature, have been clearly seen, being understood through what has been made, so that we are without excuse (Romans 1:20).
There's one more thing to add to the sure hope of eternal life with God!
-----
I got lots of errands done today since the day-long rain kept me from working. I went to Image Air and asked if i could use the building as a base of flight instruction. Suffice it to say that he said 'no', but i think i established a good relationship with the manager there, and i think i sparked his interest in the Diamond Star that Tim Koster is trying to sell. Afterwards i made a deposit at the bank, purchased a collection of wedding songs for the piano and Rascal Flatts' Feels Like Today CD.
Hope ya'll are doin well!

My favorite things

I'm not aching for another post already, but i do want to make this one before i forget to.

My ten favorite things (order irrelevant after #1):
1. God
2. Family
3. Friends
4. Girls
5. Playing the piano
6. Flying airplanes
7. Eating
8. Sleeping
9. Deep conversations
10. Physical touch

Death

So i've been thinking about the topic of death lately, and the trains have led me to some intruiging concepts. Firstly, i was inspired to see what a perfect object lesson God made in sending His son to die with His arms stretched wide on the cross. The picture is of God the Father holding one of his Son's hands, and all of sinful mankind holding Jesus's other hand. Christ spanned the divide between God and man, something no man can do for another and surely not any man do for himself. Christ is the Man for which Job longed: "Neither is there a mediator between us, that might lay his hand upon us both" (9:33). And this is the Man whom God gave: "Wherefore he is able also to save them to the uttermost that come unto God by him, seeing He ever lives to make intercession for them" (Hebrews 7:25). God is our Creator, Lord and righteousness, and through Christ is God's righteousness made available to us.
Amazing are the ways of God!
On a side note, Hebrews 7:25 is a great verse to get into your heart because when you doubt that you're 'worth it' you can remember that Christ is at God's right hand interceding for you, always. You are God's righteousness, and just as God's righteousness shall never be abolished (Isaiah 51:6) so His work in you shall not be abolished, either. You are worthy, dear child: What greater statement of your value can be given that would exceed the statement of the death of God's own son for you?
---
While watching the movie King Arthur tonight, I heard a line that stirred me to ponder something i read from Titus last week that also relates to death.
Pelagius told me once that there is no worse death than the end of hope.
The end of hope is the worst death. Not the end of the body, not the end of worldly achievements. Pelagius (a real guy; Aristotle mentioned him) might have borrowed from Paul here: "For if in this life only we have hope in Christ, we are of all men most miserable" (1 Corinthians 3:17). The essence of the Christian is his hope for eternal life. Strip him of possessions, acquiantances, skin and blood, til he have one thing left in this life, and that will be his hope of being an heir of eternal life through grace (Titus 3:7).
Yet I pay this blessing so little attention. Dear God, instill in me a myriad of praises for the sure hope of salvation. For i shall take one thing with me from this world when i die: my hope -my assurance-of salvation.
---
I did the earlybird thing this morning--up at 4:30 AM, drive to Peru and launch off on another wonderful day of pipeline patrolling. A coyote was in the middle of the runway directly in front of me as I lined up for takeoff, but he soon moved off. I handled most of the radio today, including talking to Midway control tower. The adrenaline charged up my wits as I asserted my request amongst the frenzy of communications by the Big Boys. "Chicago Midway tower, Diamond Star 289 Delta-Sierra 10 to the southwest on pipeline patrol" came out smoothly and rapidly with no slurs or smothering of the words. It felt good to be competently communicating with one of the busiest airports in the States. Anchorage and now Chicago are in my pocket. Who's next?
I flew a short day today--only eight hours because some weather moved in and the temp at altitude fell to 2 degrees above freezing. I did all our landings today by myself, and well. The trick with this airplane is that it's really low to the ground, the flare attitude is just a few degrees nose-up, and you don't stall-and-fall it on the runway; you slide it in. It's like landing a large pancake.
We hope to get another west trip done this week, the one thru Missouri, Iowa, Kansas and Nebraska. WPPW.
----
A dear old friend and I talked tonight for a half hour, and that added to the many happy things that came my way today. I hope she'll find time from her homework to read this and leave a comment to tell me she was here!

Fiftieth post

Yep, the fiftieth installation of my petty thoughts are before your eyes. In two and a half months, i'm on my way to prolific Blogger fame. I did write over 100 pages in my journal while in Alaska-the journal of which this blog was only a shadow back then-and i count myself accomplished there. My present thermometer for accomplishment, and this by egotistic motives only, in the blogosphere is if I see a slew of commentators as large as Jacki or Carrie. Realistically, i know that won't happen. SO, the more reasonable goal is to weave my thoughts into digital wings to linger in flight for longer than i can hold them within my mind.
I've just escaped from one of the enemy's assault of temptation, and though i fell prey to the desires, i have ultimately come out as a winner because of what i learned. There's a particular marginal deed (is/isn't sin) in our human experience which i will not name, because it is the object of said temptation. Through the fierce battle, i've learned something of this sin that may be applicable to all sins. I visualize sin as a door that I close between myself and God. That shame i feel after something i've done is keeping me from approaching God. It's a door i've shut behind me as i in disobedience ran from His joy to the woes of fleshly satisfaction.
Preoccupation. Preoccupation is the sole matter for those losing out to temptation. One's heart loses its fixation on God, and the tempter charges up this static state and drives it to compromise, justify, and experiment. In this process one is drifting away from God and the moment the sin is done, the soul will feel a light-year away from the Father and will be filled with remorse. Therefore, it would be reasonable for a Christian to ask himself, "will this act distance me from God?" If so, committing oneself to the act should require a second thought, a second prayer. The knob is in the hand, and the hinges are squeaking...

Getting back to things...

K, here's the summary of my life since i've posted.
Friday: Call Mr. Chase with questions concerning my future. I told him of my current setup and how much I (in the near future) will earn and of the in-company promotion opportunity. His advice was to stay here because LeTu's flight instructors get $16k a year tops, and afterwards they have to move away but i'd get to skip that step. So i get to live my dream and stay in Illinois for awhile longer.

Sunday: Watched the Chicago Bears with interest for the first time in several years. They won their fourth straight game on Sunday. Seems to be a fine year for Chicago clubs. Went to night church for young adults called Fuel. Very encouraging atmosphere because there kids my age are passionate for God. Being away from that environment for weeks can turn into years if one allows, so I'm hoping to keep connected to it. Mom left for Israel with her friend Nancy Loy.

Monday: leave on two-day pipeline patrol trip. Nine hours of flying to the Quad cities, St. Louis, Kansas City, Wichita and everywhere in between. Stay overnight in Salina. Talked with Grandpa, Angela, Brian and Shane Delay.

Tuesday: finish two-day pipeline patrol trip. 7 1/2 hours of flying to Lincoln (Nebraska) to Chicago and Champaign, Illinois.

Wednesday: Work with Scott (leaf cleanup, lawn mowing) from 8 to 4. Mr. Bitikofer emails me with a job offer to flight instruct at LeTourneau. I told him of my current position and that i'd been praying and conferring with Mr. Chase and have concluded that staying here is the best option for me. Getting to fly along the earth's curves and dodge towers and brave inclement weather has become a niche programmed by Alaska. Christina Greenawalt found my blog and later my phone number, and we talked for 1/2 hour. She asked me to come to her and Karsten's wedding and be their ceremony's pianist.

Today: Work with Scott from 8 to 5. Make quesidillas for dinner for dad and Rosanna. We've been supporting each other well since mom left. Rosanna made dinner on Tuesday, dad on Wednesday and me today. Hopefully Papa Murphy's pizza will make our dinner on Friday :-) Rosanna and i drove to Starbuck's where she treated me to a mint hot chocolate.

I've grown increasingly unimpressed with the interaction between Rosanna and her boyfriend DJ recently. Their relationship is not moving forward and upward in maturity or depth, which means it is deteriorating from the inside out. Why do i beleive this? 1)His lack of patience, respect and genuineness towards Rosanna and the family. 2) Dominance of entertainment and physical contact over other dimensions of a healthy relationship. 3) His rediculous baby-talk tone of speech and repetitious "I love you"s.
Without the television and freedom to touch, their relationship would not exist; i am convinced of that because that's all i see them involved in. I've been challenged to consider for myself the meaning of that phrase "I love you." In my mind, that solemn phrase means nothing without the act of loving to point to. "I love you" is a behavior firstly; the words are a redundancy to spur to recollection the acts of love.
And what are the acts of love? They are the quest of bringing all of one's best interests to life.
I just think more love ought to be happening in their relationship. It frustrates me to witness them in the delusion that they have enough already.

Today's news

Last night, another airplane crashed in Bloomington. That makes for the ninth crash here since 2001. A summary of previous crashes were listed on the front page, and i was bummed because the list went back to only 2002. Because mine was in 2001.
That's right. On June 16, 2001 an airplane i was riding in with my friend and his pilot grandpa stalled on final approach, and we nosedived into the grass before the runway. All walked away, and i was with a whiplashed, sore back for the next two weeks. The whole thing happened in perhaps three seconds, so i didn't have time to be afraid. The NTSB's report is here

Telling all that

Frankly, i'm feeling the pressure of being in the handcuffs of a very harsh reality. The aviation industry does not treat young sprouts well. Not until this week did i realize-it was like an epiphany- that i need money. I want money. I went to school to put a skill in my pocket that i would enjoy using, but mediocre skills are all i have. Look at the bottom line, and what lies there is a zero. A static zero. I'm in quite a fix in that i am here in the world my hopes and education befit me, but it is unsatisfactory. Now. When i need the most money, there's no way to tap into the industry and get it. Now. I didn't know that by coming here that I was making poverty an option, nay, an obligation! How long will i be destitude and desperate?
So i cannot make a living from the job i will have, but the experience is outstanding. How do i balance the two needs of developing myself for a career and earning money? They are not coincident, else i would be happier. Ought i to persevere through this, as though it were a platform which will raise me up by and by? But even when i get higher, will that even be enough?
I've been through a hundred different moods today. Writing with them still shifting violently is difficult. Fate knocks at the door (da-da-da-BUM) but God said that the works of men shall praise Him.
Therefore I pray, Lord, that You will magnify yourself through my life somehow; save my spirit from the situations that would smother me; and grant me blessed assurance and peace always by all means.

Quote of the week

"How am I? Well, contrary to the negative factors that have been impressed upon me the previous six to seven days, I'm feeling rather energetic if not vigorous!"

-Elizabeth, minor character on Adventures of Odyssey volume 21