no title idea, sorry

Flying and instructing is going very well, mostly. I love flying, and i suppose that's where i should attitude should camp out. But a few students of mine are having a hard time, and i worry about them all the time. One of my students got transferred last week to another instructor because we didn't get along well, and i complained alot about her and she complained about me to the chief and she eventually went to another instructor. I felt a bit relieved when she did, and i also felt she left me too late, but she also represented alot of work and time ($) on my part so i'm feeling the loss.
I fly with other instructors' students almost as much as my own. One of those told me today how that his landings had really improved after flying with me. I was thankful for that compliment! Another asked me to go with him on his multiengine cross-country, so we went to Houston on Saturday for a four-hour flight. We had a good experience with that one. My knowing i had to get IFR current was the catalyst for my grabbing an instructor to give me an IPC (instrument proficiency check) on the preceding Friday. I got some actual with that same student yesterday as we shot a couple approaches with clouds at 1700'
I reached 700 hours yesterday! I remember when i was saying i had just over 600- that seems just weeks ago. As of today, i have 702.5. I am inspired to make the next 100 hours the best ever , yet i don't know how they can possibly be better than the 150 in Alaska. I guess the way i do it is to spend every hour thankful for my privilege and with ambition to get better at what i do.
On the way to work this morning, i drove by some mexican guys digging some trench by the road and one standing there watching them. Obviously they worked for the city as road crew, and they were probably doing something important. But i couldn't but dwell on the thought that those guys probably get paid more than me. Then i thought about why people get paid what they do. I figure those people whose occupations affect other people to a vital end get more than those people affecting people to a light or frivolous end. The greater the influence on people, the greater the pay, generally. The way i see it, we pilots trade pay for prilivege. If you go to the Wright-Patton Air Force Museum you'll see a quote by some guy who calls flying the 'privileged position.' When you compare money to privilege, privilege is really of greater value. Having little money makes life simpler, anyway. As long as i know God's love is flowing into me and through me every day, filling life up takes less thought.

snippets of thought

Why can’t we turn on our Need-to mode during the semester? We thought we had time for get-out excuses. But now the only thing we have time for is answers to our dilemma. If only we had taken upon ourselves the no-excuses mindset earlier, we would have been better off by now.

Attitude is the internal opinion within us. Power is the force of change behind us. What we do with our attitude determines where God's power takes us. Attitutde plus power equals performance.

Giving one degree more of effort in my ambitions can mean the same difference between water bubbling and water boiling.

We live only because He is the vine and we are the branches.

One strategy I use as a pilot -- and I should use it in life more -- is to get stuff done way before I think I have to get it done. As pilots, we either keep up with the airplane or we don't, and in our lives we keep up with our responsibilities or we don't.
When we're disciplined, we throw off the weights that so beset us so easily and reach forward for the goal ahead. You gotta let go of those weights and chains hindering you.

Pictures from the week

Usen on our way to Sugarland and houston on Saturday

a pretty view of an east Texas sky
my "just needs a prize" easter basket
LeTourneau from 1000'
Star student Daniel Grollimund

Blessed Easter

Today I...
Ate a feast.
made an easter egg basket.
hunted for easter eggs.
shot a spider web.
received an inheritance.
wrote to God.
swam in a natural pool.
prayed under a waterfall.
cycled a quarter-century.
saw a dozen mansions.
rode from country to country.
learned a lesson.

random thoughts:

The homes at Hunter's Creek off W Bar K Ranch road are the most GORGEOUS harmony between home and landscape architecture i've ever seen. homes in the South really have something against those i've seen
in the north.

Resisting temptation is hard. But living with guilt is even harder.

A moth lives inside its shell during its last days of metamorphosis trying to get out. If it got released when it wanted to, it would fall from its cocoon weak and frail. But when it has to work to overcome the resistance, it finally breaks from its shell and is strong and healthy.
If we were released from our challenges easily then we would be just as weak. " blessed is he who endures temptation, for when he is tried, he shall receive the crown of life"

to be a man

A man is a very complex intertwining of extremes.
I got hooked to a book called Guard Your Heart, and more and more i'm seeing the truths that this book is revealing. Guys go from one drive to the next. We have God-given talents to provide, protect, procreate, persevere, praise, perform, be patient, patriotic. But we will also be passive, passionate, imPulsive, polygamous, perverse, pitiful, procrastinate, prejudiced, pressuring, pessimistic, prideful (those words all came from my head, by the way).
I didn't want to get up for work today. But now that i'm here i don't want to stop working. Being a guy is very weird. It's even scarier when i "notice" myself.
Women, on the other hand, are the moderators. They're very emotional because they feel the flux of change and pull back in resistance to it. We guys just deem it all OK and deal with whatever.
In considering all the differences between men and women, it would make sense for the "Wo-" prefix to mean "upside-down," as in "upside-down man."

I'm the obsessive, she's the moderator.
I'm the driven, she's the devoted.
I'm the attacker, she's the steadyer
I'm the pessimistic, she's the hopeful
I'm the passive, she's the ambitious

Whatever I am, she evens me out.
That's why when i find her, i'll have found a good thing.

come quickly

A glorious tribute

The following was written by the wife of Ken Barth, who died two days ago in Bloomington, Illinois. Ken was the music director of Calvary Baptist Church in Bloomington, and his ministry was fruitful and far-reaching. It's strange to think of his being gone from this world because I still imagine Ken a bubbly, smiling, chord-banging, scale-ripping, high-note hitting, choir-leading man with a heart set in God's hands. Now he's gone, ya know? I'm feeling in one of those check-your-reality moments where i analyze if i've got my perspective on this life right.
We think about souls leaving this world as we think of a switch going from "on" to "off." He's here; then he's there. But it's not really that way. We have already made the change from our earthly to heavenly citizenship, belonging. Only heaven is suitable for us; only heaven is home. We are meant to be gathered in Christ and His eternal Life, for He is life.
Ephesians 1:13-14--"In Him you also trusted, after you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation..." And what a trust that is! To trust in what you do not see but have only heard about and felt in your heart and soul that it MUST be, it MUST be what is. "...in whom also, having believed, you were sealed with the Holy Spirit of promise, who is the guarantee of our inheritance until the redemption fo the purchased possession, to the praise of His glory." We're like a package lying in wait at the train station with a receipt inside that says "paid for by the Redeemer." In the station we wait, but it is most certain that He who purchased the package is on his way, and the road between Him and us is Time.

Anyway, here's the letter that Ken's wife, Mona, wrote:

Matt. 25:21 "Well done,thou good and faithful servant: thou hast been faithful over a few things, I will make thee ruler over many things: ENTER THOU INTO THE JOY OF THE LORD." While in the hospital, Ken made the decision to stop all treatments and said, " I am ready to lay my sword down." It brought to mind II Timothy 4:7,8: "I have fought a good fight, I have finished my course, I have kept the faith. Henceforth, there is laid up for me a crown of righteousness which the Lord the righteous judge shall give me at that day and not to me only , but to all them also that love His appearing." Saturday, April 8, 2006, at 2:00 am Ken said to our son Mel, "I am going home , I'll see my new house and there will be no yapping dogs." (There are two very yapping dogs next door to us and they disturbed him greatly.) April 11,2006 at 4:00 PM, he went quietly and peacefully to His new Heavenly Home and entered into the Joy of his Lord.

The Lord was so gracious and kind to give us a few days with all the family here and Ken unusually alert and funny. What a precious time we had one afternoon as we gathered around his bed singing "God Is So Good" and reading scripture together. Ken very softly joined in for a few phrases. There are many good-bye tears, but being in the presence of the Lord as He sweetly ushered Ken into heaven was far better then watching him suffer just to have more time with him here.

As most of you know, for many years Ken has been busy at the Easter season directing the Easter Pageant. It was the great passion of his ministry for the last few years to make the story of Jesus come to life. Every year he tried to improve it, and the last couple of years he had a dream to add a scene to conclude the presentation that would demonstrate what it must be like as believers are welcomed into heaven. He was always determined to get the "heaven scene" just right. Isn't it amazing that at this moment he is experiencing for real what he was trying so hard to imagine. Easter will never be the same for us, but heaven will be more real.

As I was looking through an old Bible of his, I read in his handwriting:
"I dedicate my life to finishing strong. K. Barth 7/21/96."
That is what he did. He finished strong in love for his God, in his faith, his love for his family, church family and all those whose lives he touched. He never brought disgrace to his name or (more importantly) to God's name. For this we are praising God.

Thank you for all your love, concern, prayers & support.

Mona and the family

giving thanks

Sarah Medin gave our sunday school lesson for the week, and she challenged us to make thank-you cards to people who deserve our gratitude. She provided cards and envelopes so we can't make an excuse to not do it.
i took two cards and envelopes and thought that the first recipient should be the Wilsons. So i thought about writing it on Monday, then on Tuesday, and finally today comes around and I took the envelope and card with me to my orthodontist appointment and to the airport. Remarkably, my heart was leaning towards using that card to write a thank-you note to the people i came across today who did something especially meaningful to me. But i kept my preserved it still for the Wilsons despite impulses to write to Dr. Scott and his nurses for their kindness and service, Mary for her patience and endurance and peacemaking at the airport, Weldon Burnett for his tolerance of my changing stage check times and all else.
I found i have a lot of people to say Thank You to. And it's mostly for their grace and mercy; for, if i got what i really deserved, i would not be in good shape right now.
for all you who i didn't name here: Thank You!

picture post

Student Jon Warren and me at Pecan Plantation airport, SW of Ft. Worth-Friday March 31

Daniel Grollimund, front, and Chip Rose and me at the Montgomery (Houston) Flight Service Station

Sign to prove we were there

here's my badge

the approach into Pecan Plantation

going through changes

Of the several bloggers who i have or do read, only a couple/few touch and soften my heart. jacki sabota is one of those. she reminds me of the youthful faith i used to call my own, back when i was more trusting, hopeful, free. I don't know what has changed about me since i graduated or since the beginning of the year, but i know that and i know some of you know that too. Reading jacki's words refreshes my spirit and gives me that "peace in nostalgia, in memories." because when she talks about what her memories mean to her, i am reminded of what my memories mean to me, and i sometimes even wish back to the present that which i remember.

tonight i wrote in my prayer journal and spilled my fears to God and asked Him why they are there. Like Craig Miller played out in his hootennanny skit last night, i heard little tidbits of God's true Word in my ear as i pondered my questions.

One piece of evidence i have that points to God's existence and His possession of me is that when I bow my head to pray and dedicate my day and situations to Him, ideas and promptings spontaneously bubble up in me--ideas that i wouldn't have remembered if i tried but are essential to my day. I've proven this in the past week. I worked for 60+ hours the past seven days and just like me found ways around prayer time. Misguided, unexcusable decisions and omissions proceeded on a few of those days because i made them on my own power. But when i prayed those few times, a whole lineup of stuff to say and do streamed into my mind and taught me the steps i should take.

How has flight instructing been going? Well, it has highs and lows. I am not much higher than mediocre as far as adequacy is concerned, but i do know how to give instructions, and then the need to have greater-than-mediocre patience is called upon when students don’t follow instructions. The same is required when i am teaching and the student appears to be dazed, half-conscious or lost. Talking just to hear myself speak isn’t all that bad of a deal, but the fact stands that if what i’m saying does not sink in, then my student is toast on the examination. I’ve discerned myself as getting more hardheaded as the weeks transpire because i feel i need to project a figure of non-slacking, high-expecting, success-demanding teacher. Although that may churn out a pilot or two, i’m concerned that my coming across as such would cause me to lose my students. I can demand alot, and golly do i need to demand more. I’m not really laying down the rule right now because i went through my training aware of my own behindness and ignorance, so i would study and practice and create means to make ideas permanent in my head so i wouldn’t be so below average. I thought i was slow by default; therefore i put alot of energy into compensating for my deficiencies. But it took getting to my ‘perch’ to learn the dividing attribute of students/pilots: those who try more than they need to and those who don’t try enough. The issue is not one’s intelligence; it’s of one’s awareness of the scope of knowledge and skill to be attained and stamina to go at length and effort to assimilate all of it. What disappoints me is the lack of sense of responsibility in some kids—some seem to infer that i do all the work unto learning for them. I may as well say “i’m going to learn you today airspace and cloud clearance requirements.” People, please take the initiative upon yourselves.

One is going camping for two days this weekend. And this person didn’t know what Vx is in the Skyhawk we’ve flown for 23 hours together. This bothers me.

I want to be the kind of teacher who loves my students into learning.

God, bless me with the talent to do just that, and change me to be useful for whatever Your purpose.

Do not be of a neutral mind. Contemplate what positives surround you and always consider things how they are and what they need to be.

James 1 says that our lusts conceive sin. It’s appalling where my mind will derail to when i give it an inch of slack. Appalling. I think satan always leads us to sin using questions of “what if?” The mind in subjection to Christ and obsession with God and His life will think about “what is?” and not fall prey to lust.

It’s late enough.

Me fly lots

If there were a LeTourneau graveyard shift for flight instructors, i'm definitely top on that list.
Tonight I had my fourth late flight in five days (er, last night since it's 1:30Am now) and it was quite an experience for my student and myself. I sympathize for him because it was his first x-C and for it to develop and climax as it did probably shut off for awhile his fun-senses about flying. It was a real throw-out-the-books cross-country for him. We started off late because of some issues i could have controlled better, and i discovered that he hadn't completely planned for the route so we spent time on the ground at our first airport figuring out the rest of the planning. Then on the way back we encountered unrelenting, unexpected and fierce headwinds and were getting groundspeeds of 90-95 knots all the way home despite just sub-redarc power setting. Curfew for LeTourneau flight ops is 11:30p, which means that all airplanes need to be landed by that time. I knew we'd be arriving uncomfortably close to that time and tardiness was the most likely outcome, so i tried to find an altitude that would provide the fastest groundspeed and found, albeit too late, that 1,100' MSL, about 700' AGL was the place to be. My poor student was over there wondering what in the world was going on, and why is this crazy instructor so picky about holding heading and not climbing and querying constantly "are we gonna hit anything at this altitude?". He did get himself a very rich experience, however, because it was necessary to utilize all resources to accomplish a goal of getting home on time. That's flight management that cannot be planned for.
WE landed at 11:34 and 40 seconds, so once inside the office I wrote a letter to Mr. Burnett confessing my sin and explaining why i did it. My prayer is that he will forgive me and, most importantly, that i will learn from tonight.

Now if you'll excuse me, i need to get my four hours of sleep before my 7AM multi flight.

What i love about Sunday

Kelly, an old- sometimes former - sometimes old- friend of mine said to me a week ago that i'm welcome to come up and talk to her about what it's like to be out of school. Sundays are a definite plus about being out of school and into the working world, especially with a Christian establishment. In the previous two Sunday afternoons, you'd have found me napping either outside or on my bed oblivious to work that may have required my attention at the time. In contrast, a student's Sunday is catch-up day, assuming i was a typical student. I was always burned out by Sunday. But now i get to indulge my desire to recover from the energy deficit.
After waking up and talking to Angela for an hour, i motivated myself enough to go for a ride. I went down Sam Page road to Sarah and Tim's house, where i got some water and an orange. Coming from there was the best part of the excursion. The humidity dropped remarkably, I felt fast and dashed along at a pace that reassured me that i still had the strength for speed.
What was happening in my spirit was more significant, though. Riding has traditionally brough a spiritual and physical high that i cannot get anywhere else. As i ride, i like to think and pray about all sorts of stuff. And i've been missing out on it for months. Now that i was actually back, memories of back when flooded in, and i felt as if God were reminding me of who i was, what i usually think about, during our times out. I began to see myself as a made-over person looks at his pre-transformation picture. I saw myself as this perverse, shallow, negative, pessimistic shadow of a thing, and i knew immediately that i gotta change. Worrying and mental grinding and coveting and lusting have all got to fall away because i cannot spend a life deep in that mire. And i was carrying guilt, tremendous guilt of not being good enough, of failing everybody and being potential of nothing useful. Think about that--of all God has done for me, and after my heart's belief that i am the sealed and peculiar child of God, i still make room in my mind for temptations to dwell and multiply until they choke my joy and contentment in God.
So i decided to throw off all negatives and pray. Now, it's so interesting how when we pray, off-topic matters come to our attention. Once i'm thinking about God making me a positive person, then about His showing his love through one husband to his wife, then about His marvelous craftsmanship on every part of me.
It's good to be in the Light.
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